Watkin's Mill

About a year ago, Kayla and I decided to walk the Watkin’s Mill trail in Kearney, Missouri.  The path itself is about 3.75 miles. I vividly remember being miserable when we hit the 1.5 mile mark. I wasn’t used to the hills and the heat. It was awful and I wondered if I’d even be able to finish it. We did though, and it was a big accomplishment.

So just a little under a year later, we decided to give it another whirl.  We did it yesterday and I mixed in my jogging spurts with it.  It wasn’t painful or miserable in any way.  In fact, it was awesome and beautiful. I always run the same routes or on the track around my apartment. It was great to change my scenery, incorporate more hills, and focus on the fun of it all instead of the time.  We took breaks to take in the scene and enjoy the weather.

After we finished the trail, we trekked back another mile to spend some time in the creek. The water was freezing, but I seriously cannot explain what the change in weather has done for my motivation and state of mind. I just couldn’t resist kicking my shoes off for just a few minutes.

One year. That’s all it took. I can’t wait to see what I can do a year from now. If I meet all my goals, running the whole thing would hopefully seem like a piece of cake. Cheers to the freaking awesome weather this past week. I’m pumped to get into my morning jogs!

Athlete

    

For my entire existence my dad has always said, "Katie, you're naturally strong and powerful. You're an athlete."
That always seemed preposterous to me.  How could someone be an athlete at over 350 pounds? But I think I know now what he meant. I've been amazed by my body's transformation the past 15 months. It's not the slimming down or losing weight, but the muscles that have popped up that I didn't know existed. It has really surprised me.

Tonight when we were in the middle of our workout (killer arm exercises), Kayla kinda laughed and said, "Did you think a year ago we'd be doing this?" I don't think about that often anymore because I'm trying to look forward, but sometimes it just hits you. Before this started we would have been plopped in front of the TV, eating cheesy potatoes and complaining about life.

But tonight we started with cardio. Fifteen minutes on the treadmill, 15 on the bike. Then it was on to the hard part. We were doing bicep curls, tricep extensions, rows, pull-downs, and chest flies. Life looked positive. I felt powerful.  We even added some additional cardio because we were feeling so good.  I felt like an athlete. I felt like I was training for something. And maybe it's not training for the next big game or competition, but a better life.

So tonight I thought about all those times my dad told me that I was strong. I'm grateful for it, because without him I don't know that I would have ever believed it. I am blessed to have the capacity to be an athlete if I want to. Sometimes we're idiots. We settle for less than our best. Why is that? If  can do this, you can do this.

Nitpicking

Back when I didn't care about anything, it became somewhat routine for me to look at myself in the mirror, shrug and then go on about my day. I didn't much care how I looked or how I presented myself.

Now I notice EVERYthing.  It's like those commercials about getting clear skin, removing the circles under your eyes, and getting rid of grey hair were made for me. Every day I find something new about myself to criticize. It's worse when other people notice.

This year I've been on medication to control my blood pressure, a dosage that my doctor claims will soon disappear due to my recent weight loss (boom). Unfortunately, it has done a number on my hair. So aside from the grey hair I'm combatting, it has also made my hair thin quite a bit. It is painfully noticeable to me, but now apparently everyone else. My hairdresser the other day commented, "Well..you just don't have much hair do you?"

Gee, thanks.

So now I'm cringing over that and my face that is actually showing legitimate signs of aging. Both of my older siblings look about 10 years younger than they actually are. I'm hoping that I'm going to hit an aging roadblock here soon and stay 25 forever. If not, I feel sorry for my future blog readers.

In other news...

I actually like my haircut. I got to spend some quality time with my lil sis today and I finally got the chance to kick a punching bag. So, things could be worse!

The scale

The scale has seriously become my worst enemy. I've let it become that, so I'm taking it away.

I'm not going to weigh myself until April 1st. That will be my new starting weight that I measure my weight loss from. I feel like I need a reboot, so I'm going to do this the same way I did when I first started this whole journey.

Ready for the next chapter!

Not every run is a race

I have not been enjoying running the past week, but I think I know why.
I've been disappointed in myself lately, and I think I try to overcompensate by pushing myself too hard. It's an absolutely great feeling when I can set a PR on my mile time, or get in 5 miles when I was only planning on three, or squatting 200 pounds. At the same time, it can be really heartbreaking if I set out with the intention of breaking one of my own records and fall short.

Lately I've been competing with myself every day, and instead of basking in the sun on my rest day this week, I decided to run. The weather just seemed too nice not to. My body was so heavy though and my legs were so weak from running or working out every day this week. It was hard to propel myself forward even short distances. So, although I set out to do my normal 5K route, I headed home after a mile and a half. I walked the last half mile and promised myself that I would slow down a little bit. I need to get back to looking forward to my runs.

This week I decided that I'm only going to run to run.  On that same notion, I decided to go out yesterday after my surprise day off. I need to relax a little bit and slow down.

"I'm in a hurry to get things done. I rush and rush until life's no fun."

Yesterday was good and I need to remember that those moments are just as important to my health as my runs and workouts.

Weekend fail

Man, I had a great fitness week.
Then I blew it on the weekend!
Kayla came back and we celebrated her success at bootcamp with a surprise party. It was a really good time, but I ended up feasting on bad food both Saturday and Sunday.
That ended up really messing up my week. I did lose three pounds last week. This sounds like a lot (because it is), but I know my body and I know that I probably would have had some record weight loss for myself if I could have kept myself in check this weekend.

So what gives?

I've really been fighting the "food bug" lately. I want to eat bad food and I want to eat a lot of it. I keep giving myself excuses to eat poorly. This was just a way of life for me before I started my new life over a year ago. I'm trying to find that unparalleled willpower I had six months ago, but it's lost somewhere. The top two things I'm trying to remember as I move forward...

1. Exercising more in a day does not justify binging or eating awful food. Weight loss starts in the kitchen.

2. I am not a dog and I shouldn't reward myself with food.


Despite my disappointment, it really was a good week and I'm psyched to have my energy back. Being active effects so much more than just my weight. I've got a long week ahead of me, including three 18 hour days. I will need to find the time to exercise and focus on making healthy meal choices when so many bad ones will be an option!

In 7th grade, at the peak of my athleticism, I ran a 9:30 mile. I ran the whole thing and felt fine when I finished. I remember feeling really good about it...almost proud. Later that year I had put on 50 pounds and my mile went up to 13 minutes. My fast mile in high school was 15 +. So today was a big day for me.

It's been a really rainy day.  But hey, I conquered snow so might as well face the rain. It was awesome! I love running in the rain. It wasn't a downpour, but it felt good. Kayla and I went to the track with the intentions of walking (she hurt her hamstring at bootcamp), but I decided to go ahead and give my mile a try.

I clocked my last mile at 10:45. Today I did a mile in 10 minutes. I have so much weight left to lose before I'm in peak shape, but I'm thrilled with my progress. When I started the run, I briefly thought about immediately slowing it to walk. My legs are tired from the week. But I just powered through it. The rain helped.

I am incredibly grateful that I continue to make progress. Fighting my demons has been exhausting. Some days I want to sit back, relax, and just let things go how they will. I don't wanna go back though, so I gotta push through it.

BOOM.

I LOVE my RunKeeper app. It sent me this after I finished my mile.

Big moment.

On the track, on the beautiful rainy day. :)

It was my perfect running weather today, 50 degrees and overcast. I've been excited about this date all week thinking; That will be the best run day ever! And I'll be stoked to work out again! 

No. Once again, I was not feeling working out today. But I put on my clothes and walked out the door as soon as I could when I got home from work. I knew if I lingered I'd never make it out. As I started my jog and turned on my RunKeeper, I realized my earbuds weren't working. I stopped momentarily and tried to decide whether or not to continue or go buy some new headphones before my run. I realized that I'd never make it out the door again if I stopped now. So, I angrily ripped the dead ones out of my phone and hit the road.

I had forgotten what it sounded like to hear my feet hit the pavement when I run. That was a really big deal to me when I first started running. I sounded like a runner, even though I didn't consider myself one. So, it felt good to hear that all again. I got to take everything in. It was my first time running with snow on the ground. Although a lot of it has melted, there is still plenty to wobble over and plenty of puddles to wade through. It made my normal route a little more exciting and challenging.

I really pushed myself to run longer and to run harder. I could feel my body struggling, but I tried to keep my pace as much as possible. I did three awesome things today with my run.

1. Ran through snow
2. Kept my average mile pace under 12 minutes
3. Did my 5K in less than 40 minutes. BOOM.

Obviously, I couldn't have done that if I would have stayed home. Mini victories. :)

Personal Record. :)

Post-run. Feelin the burn!

.5 miles in. Feeling good.

What will be your Space Jam?

My friend shared this with me, and I believe it's the best youtube video out there right now. We all need to hear this video sometimes...

http://youtu.be/l-gQLqv9f4o

Can't Help Its

I really did NOT want to work out today. It's cold outside and I've been in a terrible mood since about 7 this morning. I was stressing out at work, but honestly I just have a nasty case of the "can't help its". I've been feeling defeated in so many parts of my life. I told myself I needed to workout to feel better. So, I texted my Uncle Joe and asked if I could borrow his treadmill for a bit when I got off work. I hit the jackpot because he just received a new treadmill that does some pretty amazing stuff.

My uncle has been hitting the healthy lifestyle hard for a long time, so it's always fun to go over there and hear about his latest workouts, what's working and what's not. I always think that since half my genes are from his side of the family...If he can do this, so can I.  He set up the route that I run around my neighborhood on this iFit application on his treadmill. It literally took me through my entire 5K route. The ups, the downs, the very ups. It was kind of incredible to follow my little dot on the screen. I knew when the hills were coming up and when I'd be running free (downhill of course).

It took me 42 minutes to complete my route. That seemed so strange to me. I do a lot more "running" when I'm on the treadmill. So even though I take more walking breaks when I'm on my actual, physical course, I must run a lot harder and faster during my jogging spurts. It was kind of interesting. I've done my route before in 40 minutes.

It was really nice to see my aunt and uncle and perhaps that helped boost my spirits, along with my run. I'm feeling much better now. I'm ready to take on tomorrow. Let's do this, world.

Workin it

I've been working HARD the past few days.
I used to weigh myself only once a week, but lately I've been weighing myself at least once a day, if not more. I really need to stop though because I am completely depressing myself. So far the scale is not reflecting my killer workouts and healthy eating habits. It's really starting to bum me out and it took me from a blah day to a bad day.

I was really excited about the goals Kayla and I set for each other this week. I knew it was going to be difficult, but now I'm thinking it might be impossible. I'm going to be completely bummed out if Kayla returns from bootcamp and I haven't made any significant change to show.

I remind myself that every day that I choose to work out and eat healthy is progress, but it doesn't detract from my overall feelings of discouragement. I hope the rest of the week is kind to me and that I can rock these next few days before my next official weigh-in.

Lazy Sunday

As i sit down to write this, I can't help but think that I had a beautiful lazy Sunday.

The word "lazy" has really taken on a new meaning for me this year. In the past, my lazy days (which were a lot more often) meant I would be chillin on the couch, eating food all day, watching movies or catching up on my favorite television shows. I would literally do nothing all day. I thought that made me happy.Today I enjoyed my new style of "lazy". Generally this just equates to me not working at all during the day, not getting dolled up for any outing, and not engaging in any activity that stresses me out.

My day actually started at 4:30 this morning. I took my friend Kayla to the airport. She boarded a flight to Vegas where she'll be hitting the gym hard for a week. It's "bootcamp" before she graduates from personal training school. That's so cool to me! I'm so proud of her. She's helped me so much this past year and it's been great to have a friend with similar goals in mind to help keep me motivated. I told her that since she would literally be working out all day for five days, that I would try to hit my workouts really hard this week and religiously stick to my diet plan, which I've been not-so-adament about lately. We hope to hit the scales on Sunday and see a difference.

So after I dropped Kayla off, I traveled 30 minutes to meet up with a friend to work out. I don't have a gym membership myself, so it's always really exciting when friends invite me to join them and use a guest pass. We got there and I jumped on the treadmill. I was only a half-mile in when I was miserable. It was so obvious that I haven't been working out enough and as hard as I should be. I was completely winded by that half-mile mark and had to take several walking breaks during my two-mile jog. I usually get by with 2-3, but today I felt like I had to walk just a bit every quarter mile to catch my breath. I finished up there and did a mile on the elliptical and cooled down on the stationary bike for about 10 minutes.

After the gym, my friend and I headed back to her apartment to watch a couple episodes of her new favorite show. Unfortunately, I'm hooked. But all in all it was a nice relaxing start to the morning. I left her place and headed for my friend Sara's house. I woke her up when I got there. That was hard for me to imagine since I had already been up for over six hours. I joined her and her fiance,Tim for lunch at my favorite restaurant, Longhorn.

After that, it was back to their place for more TV. I didn't last long though and passed out on the couch about ten minutes into the show. I'm such a fun friend! When I woke up, Sara was getting ready to hit the gym so I tagged along. I planned to take it easy, but ended up getting in another great workout. I jogged a mile on the treadmill (which was worse and more painful than the first two earlier), and ended up riding the stationary bike for 10 miles while I got engrossed in a book Sara let me borrow.

I'm home now, settling in for the night with my blog and Hulu, reflecting on my lazy Sunday. I guess my new style of lazy means getting in a mile on the elliptical, jogging 3 miles, and riding that bike for 12 miles. I feel great and super accomplished, not to mention rested and happy. It always amazes me how quickly things can change.