I cry about everything now and I’ll probably cry when I
write this. I’ll keep you posted.
I want to write this now, before life gets so hectic that I
don’t have time to. I want to write this now, so that I can remember how
important this really is to me when I feel like giving up. I want to write this
now because I haven’t before and I’m feeling blessed.
It was August when we found out that Dream Season had been nominated for a Mid-America Regional Emmy. It
was a surprise for a lot of different reasons, but mostly because Eric and I
are just two stupid kids still trying to figure out what we’re doing. The nomination came almost a year after
our first documentary premiered in Maryville and long after I was willing and
ready to close the Dream Season chapter
of my life.
But things happen for a reason. I’ve always believed that,
even though I try to ignore that thought when I want to feel miserable about
life.
Cry Katie, let it out,
no one cares. God’s punishing you.
I so often forget that those hard times make the good times
better.
Making a movie…it’s not as easy as it looks. Did you know
that you need permission for everything and you have to pay a million people a
bajillion dollars to even entertain the notion? As we entered post-production
on Dream Season we were hit with more
unexpected expenses and fees (because we’re just two stupid kids remember?) and
Eric just looked at me and said, “Tell me that everything is going to be all
right.”
It wasn’t the first time we thought about throwing in the
towel. By that point we had every single video we needed to create our movie,
but quitting was still an option. It was always an option, and to be honest, at
some points…not a bad one. I don’t
know that it would have been a bad decision then, but I do know now that it
would have been the wrong one.
I can’t watch Dream
Season without wanting to bang my head against a wall. I think people
always feel that way about their own work. There are so many things I would
have done differently if I could go back and at least 352 ways I could make it
better now. When Dream Season was
happening, I fantasized about future projects but when it ended, I couldn’t see
us pushing through to create anything else. I came to terms with that and I
even told Eric, “If this is the only thing we ever do, I’ll be proud of us.”
Despite knowing things now that could have made it better, I am confident that
we told an incredible story, met some amazing people, and shared an experience
that I’ll never forget. It changed my confidence, my attitude toward life, and
my appreciation of Eric.
“As with any Journey, who you travel with can be more
important than your destination.”
Eric.
This almost seems like an open letter to him, and maybe on
some level it is. But it’s mostly for me. I don’t want to forget how important
he is and how blessed I am to have him by my side for these projects,
especially knowing I’ll probably shoot eye darts at him consistently and shower
him with profanities 17 times over the next two weeks…and it’s only the
beginning of this new journey. Sorry in advance.
Eric and I became friends in college. Go Bearcats! We are so different, but also so very
much alike in so many ways, but let’s get to what matters here. I asked Eric,
in the middle of Dream Season production,
“Did you think six years ago when we met, we’d be making a documentary together
now?” Absolutely not.
It’s one of my favorite things to think about. How quickly and fiercely life pushes you in a new direction. Our friendship has definitely had its ups and downs, as most do. Forgiveness is important to me, and we’ve extended that kindness to each other on many occasions. Not the fake forgiveness that buys you a little bit of time, but the genuine forgiveness that makes it possible to do things like this together, not kill each other, and actually learn, grow, and have some fun.
Eric. He’s bad at accepting forgiveness. He’s generally late.
He sometimes can’t remember a conversation I had with him two minutes ago
(probably because he wasn’t listening), and he avoids confrontation like the
plague. I mean that when I say it…like.the.plague.
He’s irritated now reading this.
UGH. I’m always
listening! What do you mean I avoid confrontation?!
But Eric taught me a lot of things over the past few years.
Take risks, be confident, have some damn fun. He taught me that you can’t take
EVERYTHING so seriously. I learned that you can take a poster off a wall for an
interview shot and climb on the back of your car to shoot the sun set and
you’re probably not going to be arrested. I learned that the only way to get
better at something is to just frickin do it. I learned that coffee is actually
a necessity for some people and that red wine is better than white.
Eric. What I
learned about him. He’s a dreamer. He’s the type of person you text and say,
“Let’s make a movie.” And then you actually do. He’s a little bit reckless, but
almost always rewarded for his risks. When he’s not? Eh, move on. He’s the kind
of person who doesn’t always have the words he needs to say, but also the kind
that will send you flowers when your hard drive crashes. He’s brilliant and
unbelievably talented.
(Here are the tears. Knew I wouldn’t make it through.)
He’s also the type of guy that says, “Yeah, let’s do this,”
when you ask if he wants to make another documentary…even knowing everything we
went through before. For two smart people, we sure can be stupid. J
I’M SO EXCITED! We have not only one, but two projects in
the works. Life hits you fast. And before you’re know it you’ve gone from just
two kids who don’t know what they’re doing to two adults who know just enough,
just enough to maybe make something great. That’s the goal. We've been blessed with more awesome opportunities and I won't waste them.
All those feelings from Dream
Season have rushed back over me. Not the hard times, those pass. The excitement
of the experience, the people we’re going to meet, the goals we intend to
reach. Those thoughts have my head spinning and more than a little excited. I’m
pumped. With everything I learned from Eric over the past few years, my dad,
and the other great people I’m surrounded by, I’m confident that we can do
this. Unlike last time, I’m not afraid of failing. We’re going to mess up. This
is going to be hard.
This is going to be worth it.
Thanks in advance to my team of supporters who I know will
be joining us on this adventure. Sorry in advance to Eric. I’ve only had one
tantrum so far; Things are looking good.
Life is short. Here’s to risk, passion, trials, fun, and
reward. Let’s do this.
