You have no idea how badly I wanted double digits. If you could have been in my head around the four mile mark, you might be closer to understanding. But even then, I don't think it's possible.
It was just three weeks ago that I ran four miles without stopping, for the first time. I'll just quote myself here, "I honestly feel like four might be my max for jogging without stopping, but only time and my body will tell."
My 10 mile run started as an attempt at 9, but even that thought just seemed absurd. It was the best start to a long run I've ever had. The first two miles were easy, almost enjoyable. I was thinking about other things and before I knew it, I was halfway through my third mile. Unfortunately, the fun pretty much ended there. All of a sudden, my legs became heavy and it became harder and harder to maintain my pace and breathe at the same time.
I found myself close to tears just thinking about stopping. I had an internal battle of epic proportions going on in my head. On one side, I told myself I could stop and walk for awhile. I knew if I stopped though, I might not be able to start again. My other thought was to just do a couple more miles and call it a day. I'm ahead of schedule on my training, so that seemed reasonable. But I just kept thinking about how badly I wanted to complete 10 miles.
10.
Are you kidding me?
But I got so freaking excited about the possibility, that I just kept pushing. I wanted it and I could have it. At mile seven the knee pain started. At mile eight my hip started giving me trouble. At that point though, I think I would have run through a broken leg or hip, a serious nose bleed, or whatever to make my ten miles. I would have peed my pants if I had to.
And like that, it was over.
10 miles.
Life is so crazy. I hope to complete that half-marathon in June and then a full Marathon in December. Who knows what will happen between now and then thought. Right now, I've got a 10-miler completed and no one can take that away from me.
Hi, Kate. Your posts are so motivating and inspirational to me. I know that's a little odd coming from a total stranger. (Your sister Rikki suggested I check out your site.) Still, I know that when people tell *me* that I'm an inspiration to *them*, even though that feels weird, it gives me a little push to keep on going. Maybe my note to you can do the same.
ReplyDeleteI haven't come as far as you, though I know everyone's journey is different. So far, I've lost 10 lbs (with another 10-20 to go, depending on how it feels), my best distance is 5.5 miles and I'm running my first 10k next weekend. I don't know how far I can go without walking - I haven't really pushed - but I *do* know that I'm better at running than I was five months ago.
The toughtest part is just "getting my head right". I guess it must be the same for everyone. Maybe we all have to convince ourselves that we can push harder and do more than we thought possible.
Reading about what you've done, what you've accomplished so far, what you're going through and what you want to do next - it all inspires me to keep trying, to keep moving forward, to run whenever I can.
So, from some woman in Portland, OR who you've never met, thank you for putting your thoughts here.
Oh, my name is Maria. (You can find me on Rikki's profile on FB in her Friends list.)
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